Remembrance
by LorGilFan
Summary: Jessica Marie Winchester, Cassie and Dean's eldest daughter, looks back on her life while she waits to have her first child.
1. Chapter 1

Remembrance

Chapter One

Being pregnant not only does strange things to your body but your mind. My thoughts were all over the map. I kept remembering things about my childhood and growing up in a close family that wasn't exactly like everyone else around me. I mean how many kids have ghost hunters for fathers? With exceptions of my cousins, no one else comes to mind. My mother suggested I write down my thoughts to pass on to my children and I decided that was a good idea since I was on bed rest for the last month of my pregnancy. So I figured I would jot down incidents from my past and the lessons I learned from them.

On my third birthday my Dad was out of town though he had promised to be there so I wasn't a happy little camper and showed my displeasure by throwing a temper tantrum, actually a screaming, kicking, lying on the floor fit, in the middle of my party in front of all my neighborhood friends and cousins. My mother grabbed me off the kitchen floor carried me still kicking into the nearest bathroom while everyone stared dropped mouthed in our direction. She spanked me over her knee soundly several times, as I deserved, but what frightened me most was what she said.

"I will have to tell your father about this."

"No Momma, no," I pleaded.

"I don't lie to your father, Jessica, he has to be told."

"I'll tell him," I volunteered weakly as my attitude changed at the mention of my beloved father.

"She shook her head.

"That's my job, you need to apologize to your guests."

I nodded as I poked out my bottom lip at her, "I hate you," I said.

She only stared at me for a moment.

"That's too bad because I love you," she said before leaving the bathroom as I stood there feeling like the naughty little girl that I was.

That night my Dad came into kiss me when he finally got home from his hunting trip and I pretended to be asleep though I had been crying in my pillow because I could hear my mother crying in the room next door. I knew I had made her sad and I was sad too. I held my breath until he left the room. I had reached "spoiled brat status" by making her cry I felt horrible. I loved my mother because she did fun things with me and Gabe like; taking us to the park, reading to us, and she seemed to enjoy being with us. After my guests left that day she never brought up what happened again to me that was the way she was; once she gave punishment for something it was done. So why had I said that I hated her? I was three it seemed right at the time.

The next morning Dad came into wake me but he wasn't smiling. I sat in his lap with my head down, my dark brown hair curling around my face into my emerald colored eyes. I tucked it behind my hair behind my ear as I looked at my hands on my lap, I knew I was in more trouble.

"Sweet Cakes," he said as he lifted my chin so he could look in my eyes.

"Yes, Daddy."

"If I said I hate you, how would you feel?"

"I would feel sad, Daddy."

"Why would you say that to your Mom?"

"I was bad Daddy, I don't hate Momma, I love her," I said as my lips began to tremble and tears fell down my face.

Daddy held me close to his chest while I got myself under control.

"You know it hurts me if you make Momma sad," he said moving my hair again so he could kiss my tear stained cheek.

"How?" I asked still sniffling.

"Because, Sweet Cakes, I love your Momma and if she feels sad it makes me sad."

"I'm sorry Daddy," I said as he hugged me.

"Go tell your mother, okay," he said as I jumped off his lap to run out of the room.

I found my mother feeding my brother, Gabe, Grubby Gabe I called him, he was almost two and always digging in the yard or bringing in some sort of insect to scare me half to death. He had the funniest little laugh that always made me laugh.

"I'm sorry Momma, I don't hate you," I said with my hands behind my back and eyes down, the proper way to apologize in our household.

But she didn't look up at me she just kept feeding Gabe so I shook her leg.

"Momma, I love you," I said again.

This time she looked up with tears in her eyes, then put the food aside to turn and pull me into her lap for a hug. After a minute we both looked up to find Dad standing there with a smile on his face while he carried a brand new brown teddy bear in one hand and a small key in the other.

He hugged us both before he gave me the gifts. My little car was in the front yard with a big pink bow, it was a little pink car I could drive along the sidewalks of our sparsely populated area.

"You can only ride this out back or if you have an adult watching you, okay?" Dad said as I nodded.

**_What I learned: _**That Dads and Moms love you even when you are both embarrassing and rude.

When I was almost four years old, Mary Margaret, Mags, was born I hated her because I could see the way Daddy looked at her was the same way he used to look at me. Since she was taking my place I decided I would leave home. I packed my little pink suitcase, mostly with toys and my sweater, and headed for the front door in the middle of the night around ten p.m. It was late for me. Dad saw me and asked where I was going.

"To Uncle Sam's.

"Why?"

"You and Momma have a new little girl," I said with my head down.

"She's your little sister we hoped you would like her, maybe teach her how to be a good little girl like you," he said as he picked me up.

"No."

"No what?"

"I don't like her."

"Why not?"

"You love her more, I saw that look Daddy the one you used to have when you looked at me," I said as I looked in his eyes finally.

He hugged me to his chest.

"Sweet Cakes, I will always love you, you are our oldest chld, you are special to me and your Mom."

"Really Daddy?"

He nodded. But I was stubborn.

"I want to go to Uncle Sam's."

"Okay well, how about he picks you up in the morning but tonight you can help me take care of the baby this one time since you are leaving.

"Okay," I said certain I had made a good deal.

Mags was kicking around in her crib when we got in the nursery. Daddy picked her up to change her stinky diaper. I held my nose.

"She is stinky, Daddy."

The whole time he was changing her he had his nose scrunched up and keep saying "stinky baby." I thought it was funny since I wasn't fond of her.

We took her to the living room to play with her. I touched her little arms and feet while she kicked around.

"Can I hold her?" I asked as I sat on the sofa.

"Sure."

He showed me how to hold my arms to keep her from falling, then he put her in them while he sat really close beside me. She was wide awake and wiggly as I held her. He watched my face probably looking for a clue that I had changed my mind , I hadn't.

"What do you think?" he asked as he picked her up again.

"Can you call Uncle Sam, now?"

"Sure bring me the phone," he said as he put Mags on his shoulder.

The next morning Daddy came in early to pack my stuff he woke me to tell me to get dressed. I was ready and waiting on my bed when Momma came in the door.

"So you are leaving us?" she asked.

I nodded.

"You know not only are we going to miss you but Gabe will too."

"I know," I said, I would miss the kid.

I started to have second thoughts, then.

"Okay your stuff is all packed, Sweet Cakes," Daddy said as he looked sadly at me but this time I saw that look that said I love you so much. I started to cry and he picked me up and held me.

"You don't have to go," he said in my ear.

I shook my head against his shoulder. Then the doorbell rang so Mom went to answer it. It was Uncle Sam who came to the room with Momma.

"You ready to go?" he asked with a big smile on his face.

I looked from Daddy to him with tears running down my face.

"No," I said as I lay my head on my Dad's shoulder.

Uncle Sam stepped into the room and put his arms out to me to come into them I hesitated a moment but Dad nodded it was okay.

"You know you will get used to your little sister just like you did Grubby Gabe," Uncle Sam teased.

Then we all laughed.

**_What I learned:_** When you are four running away isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Now my husband didn't understand my new project he thought it was both morbid and a waste of time. Sometimes I wondered how he and I ever got together in the first place. Well we will get to that.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

A/N If you are reading the story before reading the entire Cassie and Dean series, please consider starting at the beginning with The Decision. Thanks.

Remembrance

Chapter Two

Since my family was brought into the world of the supernatural because of an incident where my grandmother was burned to death in the ceiling of her home; we have been involved in that realm. It is not something I could tell my friends about only my family knew and now my husband knows about our life as people who deal with the paranormal. Well along the same lines some of my family members have gifts, special gifts. I have a sixth sense for knowing when evil is around as well as a strange connection to my Dad, my uncle Sam has prophetic visions, my cousin Bethany can read others thoughts as well as her father, Joshua. Sam's daughter, Sarah was asthmatic as a child, yeah I know it isn't a gift but she seems to have some sort of healing power now despite her former weakness, she is still a bit delicate but the sweetest young lady you will ever meet. The gifts tend to jump around in our family which would be normal if we were a normal family. I am not sure why I brought all that up except to say that my cousin, Michael Dean Winchester, Mike, had a gift of a different sort. A gift for getting in trouble and since I was intrigued by his antics I usually got in trouble along with him. Uncle Sam insisted he took after my Dad, his namesake.

Michael was the problem child in our family though I still don't really understand why. He had Gabe and me to hang around with as far as being near his age. He just seemed to want to start trouble. From time to time I would follow him just to see what he would do next. Once when I was around seven he was close to six; he got tired of waiting to use the bathroom so he decided to go outside of our house to "pee pee." I followed him thinking he wouldn't really do that out of doors, but he did I stood there as he had his back to me and I could hear the urine as it hit the ground. I turned to go back inside and ran right into my Dad. I know my face was beet red, even though I didn't see anything. I admit I was curious though. My Dad moved so I could go back inside the house. I watched out the door as Dad tapped him on the shoulder but Michael didn't turn around until his pants were zipped. He looked at my Father as though he had done nothing wrong. My Dad took a walk with him I am not sure what was said but knowing Dad it was a lecture about not exposing one self in the middle of the back yard or in front of the girls. I should have been warned of his attitude then, but my sixth sense must have been out of whack because I loved my cousin. He was just a kid, right?

**What I learned:** Following Mike is an iffy situation.

James decided that maybe this little journal of mine wasn't such a bad idea he was reading how much of a brat I was as a child. I am not sure how I feel about that yet. Do I really want my children to know how I was as a young person? Maybe I will make a time capsule for it and bury it in the yard? I will decide later, so far it is therapeutic just to get some of these things out on paper.

Back to Michael, I wish my gift had worked earlier on the day I really needed it. The other children were in the house eating ice cream but Michael and I were supposed to be in the back yard playing. Unfortunately we ended up in our front yard climbing the largest tree on the block. We had planned to cross over from the tree to the balcony and surprise everyone inside. No, I wasn't fearless but I was with Mike I guess he kind of made me feel I could do what I wanted at times. Our plan didn't turn out so well, when Dad and Uncle Sam came back from the store I was seating on the porch where Mom had instructed that I stay. Aunt Missy was at the ambulance with Mike who had a broken arm.

"Jessica Marie, tell me you weren't up in that tree with Mike."

"I was, Dad"

"You are grounded for two weeks, absolutely nothing fun, period. Do you know you could have been paralyzed?"

"What's that?"

"Not walking, using a wheelchair, it means it was a very bad idea, young lady," he said with fear in his eyes; something I had never seen in his face before.

He shook his head then looked at me strangely.

"What?"

"Dad, something isn't right don't let them leave with Mike in that ambulance."

"Why?"

"Dad, I just know, tell Uncle Sam, hurry," I said with my voice shaking.

He ran to tell them. After they left for the hospital in the car they checked the ambulance and found a nail in the right front tire. It was a good thing I stopped them they could have had a blow out on the highway, which could have led to "Final Destination" all over again.

Dad just looked at me, "Go get your shoes so we can go to see about Mike, okay," he said.

Mom stayed home with the younger kids, Gabe and I rode with Dad.

"I knew you and Mike would get in trouble," Gabe whispered to me from the back seat.

"Why didn't you tell someone," Dad asked though he was still looking straight ahead.

"What?" Gabe responded surprised that Dad had heard him.

Dad repeated the question.

"Uh, I don't know," Gabe said as he leaned back in the seat and crossed his arms trying hard to disappear.

"Maybe you should be grounded too for withholding information"

"What I didn't do anything."

"That's the problem," Dad said but he didn't repeat the threat about grounding him.

I smiled to myself.

At the hospital Mike looked upset.

"Hey," I said as I walked in the room while Uncle Sam, Aunt Missy and Dad talked outside in the hall and Gabe began to flip the channels on the television.

"Hey," Mike said.

"I'm sorry you got hurt."

"No sweat I'll be fine," he said though I could tell he was in pain.

"Dad says you could have been paralyzed well either of us if I had fallen."

Paralyzed sounded funny on my tongue.

"Yea, he is a grown up they always want us to be afraid to do anything they don't agree with," he said with a frown.

I disagreed but I didn't say it aloud. I knew our parents were pretty cool about things, I just knew it. I didn't get any feelings or warnings about Mike at that time but I felt bad for the way he was viewing his life and family.

**What I learned:** Mike had anger in him that I needed to be watchful for.

Because of the fact that the Demon that killed my grandmother was still very much alive despite years of trying to get rid of it we were all home schooled, at least until we were high school age. We took turns meeting at Aunt Missy and Uncle Sam's or they came to our house. My mother and Missy split the duties of instruction as well as the fun stuff. We were like a commune in ways because we were together every day my cousins and I may as well have been siblings. Besides Michael and Sarah, Uncle Sam had twin sons one named Jordan Samuel, Jordan died when before he was a year old; some sort of crib death. The remaining son is Timothy Jackson, we call him Jack. Uncle Sam still thinks he has some sort of mark on him because of the things that happen to those around him. But I will go into more of that later.

When I was ten we took our first real vacation that included a plane ride. My mother had finally located some relatives that lived in San Diego. Now when our family went places it was never just Mom, Dad and us three kids. It was always the entire Winchester Clan including: Joshua, Bethany and Jon Jon if they weren't with their mother. I am not complaining it was fun to always have so many options for playmates.

I loved Bethany; she was a Mega Girl, petite, pretty and always lady like. I had a tendency to be Tom Boyish at times but not around her. She brought out he true girl in me, I wanted to be like her so much. Of course I was taller early on and never, how do you say, blossomed the way Mags did; I was gawky or it least I felt it. My dark brown hair tended to be wavy and my green eyes seemed dull to me. Bethany knew how to make me feel pretty like her. Maybe it was just because she accepted me as I was.

We had our first disagreement when I realized she liked Tanner our twelve year old neighbor who I liked too. We were talking on the plane when I realized it.

"And Tanner's blue eyes just lit up when I kissed his cheek," she said with a giggle.

"What?"

"Yes, it was hilarious the way he grinned."

"Uh, I like Tanner," I mumbled.

"Oh."

I bit my lip and crossed my arms over my chest.

My Dad looked over at me.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing," I said with a pout and a shake of the head.

He looked from me to Bethany then went back to conversing with Uncle Sam.

"I didn't know," Bethany said with the proper amount of remorse in her voice.

"It's okay..," I started.

"But he asked me to be his girlfriend," she said.

"What? You can date for four more years," I said louder than I intended.

Uncle Joshua leaned around Dad and Uncle Sam.

"Bethany Ann do we need to talk?" he asked as we both turned red with embarrassment the entire section was staring at us now.

"No Dad," was all she said as she rolled her eyes at me while both tried not to laugh.

It turned out Tanner was kissing more than one girl in our neighborhood so we both "blew him off."

My mother hadn't seen the cousin, Robert Ryan, since she was a little girl. I was a little surprised that he was a tall brunette with green eyes like mine. We rarely spoke of race in our family though I had seen photographs of both sets of my grand parents. I knew our family was different; we were a serious rainbow. Things only got more interesting when we met Robert's Hispanic wife and their two children: Juan and Vanessa. We visited for a week during which time Uncle Joshua met his future bride, Alicia. I guess it helps to look like a surfer guy in California.

TBC

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	3. Chapter 3

Remembrance

Chapter Three

I can't believe I forgot to write about the most traumatic experience of my young life, I was around six. I guess thinking about Mike and Bethany threw me off track, they are my favorite cousins. This particular night I woke up with the hiccups so I went down to the kitchen for water. On the way back I walked by my parent's room and heard noises. The door was cracked open so I just walked right in. All I could really see was my father's back so I started to move in quietly a bit closer, but my Mom saw me.

"Jessica, stop there," she said as she tried to cover herself.

"Go to your room," Dad said.

"Why are you hurting her?" I asked with tears steaming down my face.

"Go," Dad said again, firm but not angrily.

"I'll be right there," Mom said softly.

I turned and ran to my room. All kinds of strange things with through my head, I didn't sense anything wrong or evil why did it seem so wrong?

Mom came in first wearing her nice soft robe and smelling of Vanilla. I always loved her smell it wasn't like the cooking spice it was a softer fragrance. She sat down and pulled me into her lap with a smile on her face. She looked at me and sighed.

"Jessica, you know your Dad wouldn't hurt me, right?"

I nodded into her shoulder while she held me close to her. She always called me Jessica, never Jess or really even Sweet Cakes that was Dad's thing I will explain that in a bit.

"No, Mom. But I saw him and I heard you crying."

She pulled the hair that had come out of my braid from my face.

"I wasn't crying, Sweetie, I promise your Dad wasn't hurting me," she explained.

Dad came in the door then and sat on the other side of the bed. He was smiling too.

"You really need to be a little older to understand but I can say that… sometimes adults do thinks in private that kids should never see, but it's good," she said as she looked at me to see if I understood she emphasized adults.

"If it is good, then why can't I see?" I asked innocently.

"Because it is personal just between the two adults, okay?"

I nodded but I had a feeling this was going to be an interesting discussion some day.

"I would never hurt your Mom," Dad added.

"And young lady you know better than to come in the room without knocking," Mom said in her firm voice.

"Yes Mom, I'm sorry. I thought you were hurt."

She smiled at me.

"Thank you for caring; but you do know better, right?"

I nodded as she hugged me again then I turned to Dad who was awfully quiet.

"I'm sorry I thought you would hurt Mom but I knew deep inside it couldn't be true."

He smiled as he pulled me to him for a hug.

"It's okay Sweet Cakes," he said.

**What I learned: **Open doors are not necessarily an invitation to enter.

The reason this was **traumatic** is because for **one minute** of my life I thought my Dad might not be the man I always believed he was.

The reason my father calls me Sweet Cakes, to this day, is because when I was younger and just past the days of eating baby food he used to make hot cakes for he and I. For some strange reason they tasted like cake to me so I began calling them "tweet cakes" he of course being a first time Dad thought it was cute and it stuck. We also used to eat Cheerios in the living room when Mom was still in bed; Dad would sit in front of the television and watch the News with a bowl, after feeding me my food. I would stand by the table to spear them with my fingers and he would eat them off. He loved that, so did I. It's a good thing he didn't' take it in his head to call me Cheerios. I can deal with Sweet Cakes, Cheerios, not so much.

About my Dad I guess we have always been so close because when he was home we spent so much time together. I think my Mom stepped aside because she wasn't going anywhere but Dad always left. I really don't remember specifics from my younger days besides what I have written but I know he loved to seat and watch me. I guess being a new father he was fascinated with me. I hope James feels that way about our little girl. I already know I will name her after my mother, Cassandra. My mother has always been there for me even when I was sassy or sad. I have never felt that she didn't care or want what is best for me. The two of them weren't perfect but I always knew I was loved, considering the stories I have heard of my father's upbringing he has done quite well in my eyes. Of course, maybe I am biased since they are my parents.

When I was almost a teenager my mother came to my room while my Dad was out of town, to tell me to start getting my stuff together because we were moving. Well, no one had mentioned moving all that time so why now when Dad was gone?

"Is Dad meeting us where we are going?"

She shook her head and I could tell she was upset. Having a sixth sense tended to help me figure out the grown ups a lot easier than I would have been able to at twelve.

"No, Jessica."

That was it nothing else was said she just left my room to go back to her room. I followed her ready to be defiant.

"Mom what 's going on? Are you two getting divorced?"

She didn't answer me, well I wasn't just going to pack my things without talking to Dad first. I waited until she shut her door then ran downstairs to call Dad on the kitchen phone. He said not to worry that he would talk to her. Before I got back upstairs I could hear the phone ringing in her room. I stood by the door for a moment but didn't feel right listening there so I went in my room to sit on my bed.

It seemed like forever past before Mom came to tell me to stop packing, I never started. I asked her why she wanted to move without Dad.

"I don't know if you can understand I just feel like I am alone too much."

"But you have us, Mom and Aunt Missy plus her kids," I said wanting badly to make her feel better.

"I know but I miss your Dad a lot," she said as she turned around to walk out the door.

I felt sorry for her she had always seemed so happy around us. I never suspected that she was lonely. The fact is there was more that she didn't tell me; but I heard them talking when Dad came back a few days later.

I hadn't planned on listening, really, but they were a bit loud at first.

"Why didn't you call me," Dad said.

"I never know what situation you are in; I thought I was protecting you."

Then it was quiet.

"I'm sorry," Dad said, quietly by this time I had my ear to the door.

"We have three children, it's not like it was our first," Mom said.

"They doesn't make it easier on you, I know it doesn't. You know it has always been up to you; if you want me home I will stay home," Dad said.

"I want it to be over I don't want to be the reason that this thing is still out there. I am sorry I panicked," she said.

"When Jessica said you were leaving me I thought my heart would stop," Dad opened the door I guess they had a sixth sense too.

He pulled me in the room with them.

"You may as well listen from this side of the door," Dad said with a smile.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's okay this time," Mom said as she hugged me.

"Thank you," she whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry about the baby," I said as my tears came.

Dad hugged us both.

Mom had lost another baby. Over the years I knew there had been a few times she said we were going to have a brother or sister but it never happened. I thought they had given up.

**What I learned:** Parents are just people trying to do the right things.

I don't know how Mom dealt with so many miscarriages that's the reason I am on bed rest so I can relax and have a healthy baby. Now that Mom is pregnant again I pray that this one makes it. So far she is doing well and things are fine though she plans on this being the last one, at almost forty five they think it is best. I love the way my Dad baby's her even though they still have to teens in the household. Mags is a different sort she was always more independent I guess by the time you have a couple kids you are less strict with the others. Well we will get to Maggie. Now Gabe he had always played the charmer with all the girls so he had the most restrictions when we were growing up but now that he his eighteen they have had to loosen them quite a bit so that he doesn't move out any time soon. I don't envy my parents at this point but I hope I have learned from them.

TBC

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	4. Chapter 4

Remembrance

Part Four

I met my husband, James Daniels, just before my fourteenth birthday. James was tall like me which was in his favor even when we were younger, at least in my eyes. Being a lanky young teenager wasn't good if you were a girl. James had a dark brooding look even then with his black hair and creamy brown eyes. His father was of Italian and English ancestry which you couldn't see in him at all. His mother was from a Greek background that was obvious right away. He showed up at my brother, Gabe's birthday party uninvited with his cousin Nick. Nick brought him along and no one minded we were all having a good time. James was shy even then having been orphaned at a young age he had been raised with Nick and his family. I was in the kitchen helping Mom with the cake when they came in he smiled at me and as they say, my life was never the same.

He introduced himself with a smile showing that he had nice even teeth and a dimple in his cheek. His looks certainly didn't hurt but his shyness floored me. Most guys with his looks are arrogant even as teenagers. I hesitate to write this knowing he may read it but, I was hooked on him right away. Of course at my age my hormones where all over the place. Nick had left him in the kitchen with me and Mom but he didn't seem to mind he even helped us take by taking out the plates and napkins. Gabe's birthday turned out to be a life changing day for me.

**What I learned: **Love can spring from unexpected sources.

After I met James and we became friends I became more involved in sports than before up until then I played volleyball with the local kids or went biking with my cousins but I wasn't really into to those things until James. Of course it was because I wanted to spend time with him. I got those funny feelings in my stomach whenever he was around. My Mom and Aunt Missy let us joined the activities sponsored by the community center since we were all getting older so it turned out well for all of us, even Michael liked joining in. He was still stubborn and strong willed so I felt sorry for Uncle Sam when he had to get on to him. Uncle Sam was always laid back about it though he figured Mike would grow out of his ways.

When I first begin to be interested in James my parents decided they better have "the talk with me". I tried not to roll my eyes as we all sat down at the kitchen table after the other kids were asleep. Gabe had already had his turn with Dad almost a year before, I think Dad was concerned that Gabe had his genes in the women department. I could tell Dad was uncomfortable he looked like he wasn't sure why he was even there. Bethany had already given me details, more than I am sure I needed to know, from her point of view anyway. We had only just begun sex education in our home studies. But this was the personal talk the one that would tell me what the boundaries were in our household, not the general anatomy type lessons.

"Jessica," Mom began.

"Cassie maybe you should be the one who tells her this since…uh… she's a young lady," Dad said trying hard to get out of this. I was his little Sweet Cakes after all.

"Dean please, I think you will want to add something," Mom said as she pleaded with him with her eyes and she touched his hand.

I felt like she might need some support too, I stifled a grin.

"First off let's just say that you will not be dating, one on one until your sixteen, that's how it will be, no exceptions."

"Yes, Mom," I said.

"Until that time I want you to understand that …what we discussed in class is a special relationship that should be reserved for your husband, without a doubt."

"Mom?"

"Let your Mom finish."

"Yes, sir."

"I don't feel I have to dictate other wise what you do, I personally feel hand holding for a couple of years is sufficient but I trust you to have good judgment," she stated.

"I agree with your mother," Dad said as though some how that was in question.

Mom looked at him like she hoped he might input some Fatherly insight. He didn't he just looked uncomfortable. I could only imagine the thought of his little girl doing any kissing other than on his cheek was not a happy thought for him. Dad never has wanted to let me grow up though I had noticed him hovering over Mags not that I was jealous again.

"Do you have any questions? We both know we've taught you right from wrong and with your gift I am confident that you will do the right things," Mom ended.

"I do have a question?"

"Yes," Dad said.

"Um, …so the time from now until I am sixteen, any time with James has to be in groups, right?"

"Exactly."

I hesitated to say anything else.

"You know you can talk to us about anything. What's on your mind?" Mom asked.

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?" Dad asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Positive, is that all?"

They nodded as they both got up from the table. How could I break their hearts and tell them James and I had already kissed. I promised myself from that point on to be a better daughter, explaining to James was something I dreaded. He actually seemed relieved when I told him I didn't feel good about where our kissing seemed to be headed. He agreed we were too young for little more than hand holding so we backed off, though James was a year older than me. I felt closer to him after that; so things went back into the normal track.

**What I learned: **Honesty and straightforwardness are virtues

One of the few supernatural encounters that I have had occurred around the same time. I was alone in the house using the bathroom while everyone else was outside in the yard because we were having a barbecue. I walked out of the bathroom and straight into something opaque. It was a spirit of some sort. It didn't seem malevolent I didn't feel any type of warning bells go off ; it just wasn't evil. It just stood in front of me. It was a female with blonde hair and she smiled at me. I put my hand right through her. It hit me after I did that it was my grandmother, it was all suddenly clear.

"Grandma?"

"Jessica," she whispered.

"What?" I tried to utter.

Then I saw flashes in my head. There was a fire, a woman on the ceiling, then a little boy with a baby. I had heard the story a few times but it was there in my head like a movie; it was so real like I was standing there watching. But why was I seeing it? What could I do? I felt momentarily depressed. Then she touched me but it seemed feather light on my cheek.

"I love you," she said against my cheek then she was gone.

I sat down at the kitchen table to gather my thoughts then Dad came in the back door.

"Hey, you okay?"

I told him what happened. He assured me that his Mom was watching over us. He said that sometimes she showed up that way and not to worry. He suggested maybe the images where so I would know for sure who she was since I had never met her.

"It was …strange to finally meet her that way," I said with a smile.

"You'll be fine, Sweet Cakes," he said as playfully tickled me.

Then James came in looking for me and Dad encouraged us to come back outside.

**What I learned:** Ghostly encounters can be blessings.

My father once told me that he thought I was an "old soul". When I asked what he meant he explained that it is someone who matured early or has a more advanced understanding of things. I felt it was a complement. Interesting thing is with some of the stories Dad has told me about his past I believe he is one also. I guess it was another thing he and I had in common.

TBC

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	5. Chapter 5

Remembrance

Chapter Five

James read my previous writings and blushed when he saw what I wrote about him. He is such a "sweetie." Now in the beginning our relationship had its interesting spots: **the good, the bad and the ugly**. Let's start with the **ugly**; the first time I got in trouble for being out past curfew I was fifteen. James and I had gone out with friends, since we were still going out in groups only and we returned to my house a half an hour late. We were standing at the door kissing; we were leaned up against the door though I knew that Dad was somewhere on the other side upset. He had to have known that we were near but he opened the door anyway and I almost fell into the floor.

"Jessica Marie, get in here," he said as he helped me upright again.

"James, leave," he bellowed as he pointed toward the driveway without allowing James to say a word. That was all he said. I should have been repentant but instead I was irritated. Well, at least until I saw that look in his eyes. The one that spoke volumes and clearly said you are in so much trouble.

"You are grounded for two weeks young lady," where the next words out of his mouth as he headed toward the kitchen with me close behind.

The hands behind your back looking down stance no longer worked for us.

I took my seat at the table just before we both realized Mom had followed us in the room.

"I'm sorry we woke you," Dad said to her his entire expression changing from anger to compassion.

"Don't worry about it, it looks like we have a bit of a problem with our young lady here," Mom said as she looked at me before she sat down.

I would swear she never changed she still looked like a teenager herself, slim but healthy her hair waving around her shoulders. I hope I keep my figure half the way she did after having a few kids.

So we all sat down but no one spoke so I figured I should start.

"I'm sorry we were late we all just lost track of time."

"The football game was over at least two and half hours ago," Dad stated as he noticed me fiddling with my necklace.

"What is that you have around your neck?" Mom asked as she noticed the ring.

"Um…Uh…James gave me a promise ring."

"A what?" Dad asked.

"A ring that is a promise that we will get engaged, I can't wear it on my left hand because Dad gave me the Abstinence ring to wear there," I said with my head down; still reverting back to old habits.

"Yes you need to look at that hand often, you made a promise," Dad reminded me in his strict voice.

Mom asked to take a look at it, though I am not sure why since how it looked should be the least of their worries. She handed it to Dad who spent more time looking at me than the ring before he gave it back.

"Well the next couple weeks you will spend your time with the ring and not with James," Dad said getting up.

Mom smiled, "No extra curricular's at all."

Maybe it was just because they trusted me they didn't think there was a lot to be said. I knew the rules and I had broken them end of story. I felt lucky despite being grounded.

**What I learned: ** If you break the rules you have to pay the price.

Before we started officially dating I decided to tell him my family's eerie history. We were at the park with my family one Saturday afternoon. He and I were seated on blanket playing cards and talking.

"I need to tell you something."

"Sure, what is it?"

So I told him the story of what happened to my grandparents then stopped before going on about the ghost hunting.

"That's terrible that that happened to them do you know who stared the fire?"

Then I hesitantly revealed the rest. He just looked at me with a sad expression on his handsome face. Then he shook his head.

"Maybe I am crazy; but I believe you," he said with a small smile.

I finally took a breath.

"It's true; I wouldn't make it up. I have been so afraid to tell you," I said as he took a chance to hold me.

There was a good possibility my father would come by to separate us but James didn't seem to care this time. I don't really know why it happened but I started to cry into his shoulder I was so relieved. Then Dad came over to see what was going on.

"She told me the family secret," James said simply.

Dad nodded as he went back to talk to the rest of the adults.

Gabe didn't like James in the beginning I think it was because they were so different. Gabe insisted James' shyness was an act to get me into bed. I was personally offended by the accusations since I was still able to read people very well. Gabe who has been outgoing since birth had issue with those who were any less. He was a natural born comedian and life of the party. All of the girls loved him. The thing is it was him it wasn't an act. So I guess I should have known he was up to something when he brought over a friend for me to meet while James and his family were out of town. The guys name was Brad and he looked like a movie star but I had no interest. But I decided to be nice to the guy so we hung out together at the swim center with Gabe and some of his girl friends. The guy was so plastic all teeth and pecs; he had to be a senior but he didn't act like it. His entire attitude was a turn off. But I put up with it for the day just to make my brother happy. Unfortunately a **bad **thing happened.

My big mouthed little sister told a friend of hers and the gossip spread like crazy. The next day I got an email from one of my friends telling me she was sorry James and I had broken up. At that time I was in the dark about what was going on but when James called me that night he was furious.

"I'm gone for a week and you are already seeing someone else?"

This infuriated me; I was outraged that he would have so little trust in me. So I hung up. Okay I have my Mom's temper sometimes. But I felt justified until I realized what I had done. I waited two hours and he didn;t call back. So I started to call around to find out where the nasty rumor originated. I was livid to find out is started in my household.

"Mary Margaret Winchester, get your butt in here," I yelled.

"What is going on?" Mom said as she came in to my room.

"Your daughter is a liar," I said before she could properly get in the room.

Then Dad and Gabe showed up but no Mags.

"Where is she?" I asked.

Dad went to get her. She arrived with her head down. I handed her the phone for her to make the call she knew she needed to complete before saying anything to me.

While she spoke to James I told everyone what had happened. She was punished for her deceitfulness and she had to give me a written apology besides making that embarrassing call to my still soon to be boyfriend. Yes, all this happened before we actually dated. Drama, Drama, Drama.

**What I learned:** Siblings can be a pain in the rear, but you still have to love them.

TBC

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	6. Chapter 6

Remembrance

Chapter Six

Now James is getting into my story he thinks its cute that I have remembered all the little tidbits about my life especially the parts about him. Everyday he comes in looking to see what I have written or just to look at my notes. Okay I think I liked it better when he thought I was wasting my time. Men, well you know how the saying goes. James is a sweetheart though I can't deny it he has been good to me through the years; gosh I sound like an old lady but I have known him for almost six years now though we haven't been married quite two. Having a baby was something we wanted to do while we were still young. We live fairly simply in a rental not far from my parents and Uncles homes. James is an intern with an architect firm until recently I worked as a receptionist at a local dentist office then they put me on bed rest because I was a bit stressed at work. I don't plan on going back to work until my little girl is at least six months old then Mom will watch her while I am at work. Well back to the past.

Our relationship did not suffer for our lack of sex as teenagers; not that we didn't have the urges we just decided to ignore them as long as possible. There were more than a couple of times that being on a date with James could get a bit heated, especially on the way back to my parents. All the parks we passed between the movie theater and our home in the more urban parts of the city were more than tempting. Too bad we weren't smart enough to stop at one of them but instead, well, this is what happened.

We were parked down the street from my house, necking in the car, I mean hands were flying, there was heavy breathing, fogged windows the whole nine yards. Then a tap tap on the window could be heard, the back window because we were in the back seat. Thank God in heaven it was Uncle Sam, at least that was my first thought.

"Jessica Marie, what the hell is going on?"

"Uh, um, Uncle Sam. Hi," I said weakly as I adjusted my blouse.

I am sure we were both three shades of red. Though I was afraid to look in James' direction because Uncle Sam was livid.

"Both of you out of the car right this minute," he said loudly.

_Please God don't let Dad hear him out here_. I thought we were far enough from both houses to keep the relatives from seeing us, boy was I wrong. Before I could get out of the car Uncle Joshua walked up. _Hell Mary full of grace_…, I'm not even Catholic.

"What is going on here?" Uncle Joshua said.

Yes, we needed an audience, _Please Lord let the ground open up now._

"Joshua I think it is pretty obvious; they were making out in the backseat right in front of the house."

"Have you no shame?" Uncle Joshua said with a smirk.

Okay I think he was enjoying my embarrassment a bit too much. Then I thought I would die on the spot when Dad came walking down the sidewalk.

"What is going on out here?"

Uncle Sam gave him the sordid details. Uncle Joshua was trying not to smile. Maybe they just gathered to give poor James a heart attack it seems a bit fishy that they were all gathered around like we were having a tea party.

"So what do you two have to say for yourselves?" Dad asked with a frown.

"We are sorry," I said.

James nodded.

"Speak," Dad insisted.

"I'm sorry Mr. Winchester," James finally said.

"Sorry for getting caught," Uncle Sam insisted.

"Daddy you know I love James, why are you giving us such a hard time. We weren't doing anything wrong," I chimed in.

They all looked at one another and broke into grins.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked.

"We were just harassing you; we know you're good kids," Uncle Joshua said.

Uncle Sam reached down to hug me.

"We couldn't resist Sweet Cakes," he said in my ear.

I smiled up at him; Winchester men were always up to some mischief. I felt lucky to be a part of their family. Dad even gave me a hug though he added a warning.

"We trust James but you still have to you know…try to keep it kosher," he said as he looked at me trying hard to be serious.

James was still trying to take the whole change of events in, but he gave me a smile as he got in the car to leave. For a moment I wondered if I would ever see him again.

"You almost gave him a cardiac, you guys," I said as Dad took my hand as we walked toward the house together.

I could still Uncle Joshua and Uncle Sam laughing as they headed back toward their homes.

**What I learned:** Dealing with the Winchesters can be a harrowing experience or just a kick.

When Uncle Joshua finally decided to marry Alicia after dating for more than five years, we were able to travel to California again for the wedding. Me, Uncle Sam and Dad were in the wedding. Dad was the best man, Uncle Sam was a groomsman who got to walk me a brides maid down the aisle. Alicia, who was from Hawaii, who's family was mainly in California decided the wedding should be there for convenience sake. They were of course moving to Kansas where Joshua owned his home. Alicia is a representative for a cosmetic company and traveled almost as much as Uncle Joshua who still works with Dad and Uncle Sam at the detective agency.

Aunt Missy decided to stay home with the other kids while Mom traveled with us we were only gone over the weekend but it was beautiful. Alicia wore a white off the shoulder gown with a lace over wrap and a long train. Uncle Joshua wore a chestnut color suit that off set his blonde hair nicely. The wedding party wore cranberry which was good for my tan skin. Afterward the reception was at a nice big hotel and we stayed up most of the night dancing. I called James after the wedding to tell him all about it; I am sure he wasn't as interested as he pretended but he listened.

"When will you he back?"

"In a couple of days, Mom and Dad want to take advantage of the weather and being away from the kids to relax a day. I will hang out with Bethany and Uncle Sam but I will miss you," I said assuming that is what he was waiting for.

"I will be gone when you return," he said.

"What?"

"My uncle's transfer came through yesterday."

"But what about us?"

"I was thinking maybe if your parents would let me stay with them that might work."

I wasn't real confident Dad would go for that.

"I will ask. It's not like you don't have a job and we are getting married in a year and a half, right?" I said.

I didn't have a lot of time to think about what to say I ran into Dad after I hung up the phone. I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the fact that Dad always said he thought I was more mature than my years. I was counting on that now.

"Dad can we talk?"

"Sure, Sweet Cakes," he said with a grin.

I was glad this was a happy occasion that was in my favor. We sat down in the nearest chairs. It was large and expensive looking lobby a great setting to ask a big question.

"Daddy, I just spoke with James and he needs a place to stay until we get married; or at least until he can find a small place of hit own."

"Why is that?"

"His uncle got transferred and they are moving right away. The movers are going to pack up their stuff after they are gone."

"Uh hum, I don't know Jessica."

Not a good sign when he calls me Jessica but not as bad as Jessica Marie, I held my breath as he thought about his options. He looked at me for a few moments while I tried to sit up straight and look grown up.

"Well I have to talk to your mother; but I would expect him to find a new arrangement fairly quick we don't have a whole lot of room as it is."

I hugged him.

"Thank you Daddy."

"Well it's not official to we hear from your Mom."

Mom walked up just as I hugged Dad.

"What's going on?"

Dad shooed me away so he could talk to her as I went to find Bethany.

Bethany thought it was cool that James might get to stay at my house; I wasn't so sure how I really felt about it yet. I was reserving my excitement until I heard from Mom. Bethany and I danced with Alicia's hot looking nephews most of the night, I guess I always had a thing for men with dark hair and eyes. It would have been more fun if it hadn't been for the fact that Mom made me suffer until we finally were on the way to bed a three a.m., to tell me it was okay for James to stay a while. I phoned him even at that hour knowing he needed to know as soon as possible. He picked up on the first ring.

James ended up staying with us for two months. Two months of trying to avoid each other after shower time, two months of sleeping in the same house with very little contact, two months of my parents watching us like a hawk. I wasn't a happy camper when it hit me we had more freedom when we weren't living under the same roof. I think Mom and Dad enjoyed our discomfort. Parents, gotta love them'.

**What I learned:** Watch what you wish for; you might get it.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Remembrance

Chapter Seven

Over the years I noticed that my siblings and I have had certain set things we did with each of our parents. For instance: Mags and Mom love to shop, I sincerely believe that Maggie was a shopper from birth always primping, constantly in the bathroom through the years she was just that way. Surely she will be a model with her hazel eyes and barely a wave in her brown hair; that lucky girl. Okay I am a bit jealous. Then there is Gabe who has always been interested in whatever Dad did so they always worked on cars together. As I mentioned before he is a charmer as Mom said Dad used to be though she never expanded on the comment I figure some things are best left unsaid. Mom and Gabe on the other hand though never at odds outright didn't seem to have much in common besides their identical chocolate brown eyes but since he is a male it is to be expected. Mom and I have always gotten along sometimes to the point that while Dad was a way we would have heart to heart talks where I would learn more about their life before us. Once she told me that when there was a curse on our family that they wondered if having me was the best idea. I held my breath at the revelation; no child wants to think they were unwanted but she put my mind to rest by telling me that there was never a doubt between them that having me was a good idea. It was all a matter of wanting me safe and healthy that the matter was ever mentioned at all. I was relieved as you might imagine.

Now Dad and I still had our morning breakfast together every couple of months when he was in town. I would wake up early around six to make homemade hot cakes. When I as on the way to my seventeenth birthday I decided I needed that time with my Dad so I got up early for our tradition. As soon as the aroma was in the air Dad came down the stairs in his robe rubbing his eyes.

"I wondered who was cooking; I looked down and your Mom was still in my arms so I figured it was you, It was you," he sang to me a verse from the popular old song.

I laughed he always did the same thing.

"You knew it was me Daddy," I laughed as he got out the juice and milk to sit them on the table.

"Morning, Sweet Cakes," he greeted me with a kiss on the cheek after his first glass of milk before he headed to the coffee maker to get a fresh cup that was already made automatically. He couldn't live without the java despite Mom's encouraging him to seek a healthier beverage. I had a feeling that conversation had been going on for years.

"Looks like you made enough for the household today."

"I think I may have gotten a bit carried away but they can always warm them as they stagger in sometime this bright Saturday morning."

"Your Mom will appreciate it too."

I love the look he got on his face when he spoke of my mother there was a light in his eyes that didn't show up at any other time. I used to hope that James would feel that way about me; now that we are married I see it in his eyes too.

"So Daddy tell me what you really think about James?"

His smile faded as he chewed and thought for a minute; it made me so nervous I stopped eating.

"Daddy?"

Then he grinned.

"He seems like a responsible guy though a bit shy you would think after all the time he has spent with us he would have loosened up a bit."

"Some people just aren't as boisterous as the Winchesters, Daddy."

I started to eat again.

"Gabe says…."

I cut him off I knew what Gabe said though I knew it was rude but it was a tired old story, Gabe didn't think James was on the up and up.

"I'm sorry but I have known him three years and we plan to marry when I am eighteen I have yet to see what Gabe keeps telling me," I said with a pout.

"Me either."

I rolled my eyes at him in a respectful way of course.

"Seriously between you, Uncle Sam and Uncle Joshua, if James stays around long enough to marry me than that should be in his favor."

"Oh Sweet Cakes don't take things so seriously; though since you are marrying so young I am glad that you're mature."

"Daddy, can you promise that you and your brothers won't play any practical jokes at my wedding?"

He hesitated a bit too long.

"Daddy?"

"At the wedding I promise."

Dad laughed then winked at me, you had to love them they were playful, annoying, but oh so loveable. My family; I knew they weren't perfect; maybe perfectly dysfunctional but I always felt loved.

**What I learned:** With my family expect the unexpected. More about the hijinks at the reception of my wedding later on.

Mom called today to tell me that my unborn baby brother was healthy and doing great. She was on the other hand concerned for me because I wanted to do a home delivery which she had done with all three of us; but she strongly encouraged me against it though my doctor had left it up to James and I to decide. Maybe she is right I don't want to stress her out, so I will consider her suggestion.

Once I asked Dad why he married Mom; he grinned and smiled before he answered me simply:

"I love her."

"But Dad I mean… she isn't white like you," I stuttered.

"Sweet Cakes that has never been an issue with either your mom or me, we just fell in love because what we have is special to us. I can't explain it you must have an idea with you being in love and all."

I nodded and bit my lip.

"Was it hard at all being an interracial couple all those years ago?"

I felt like I might be pushing my luck but I wanted to know.

"People stared and pointed even called us names at times but your mother just ignored them and I eventually caught her attitude about it. It's just ignorance. Strangers are the worst since they judge by what they see not by who you are."

He shook his head, I assumed he was reliving some incident though now I wasn't that sure if bringing it up had been a good idea. He decided after watching me a few moments that he wanted to share an incident so I let him.

"While your Mom was pregnant with you and I wasn't hunting since we were anxiously awaiting your arrival we went grocery shopping and the entire time we shopped there was this white man following us. I don't mean by accident he just glared at us until your mom finally turned around to ask him if he needed something. Then he was embarrassed as he shook his head and walked out the store. People can be so weird; I mean why would he do that? He didn't know us; I personally wanted to knock him out but your mother being the wise woman she is took the shortest route to the solution."

Then his face lit up as Mom came in the kitchen door dressed for gardening in a long sleeve shirt and long shorts with gardening shoes on. He pulled her into his lap as she tried to keep him from getting her sweat on him.

"Dean, I'll get you sweaty like me; I need a shower," she protested though a bit weakly.

"You're fine; can I please have a kiss?"

She hesitated only a second before she gave into him; I cleared my throat but they ignored me.

I few moments later she left to go for her shower while Dad winked at me as he followed her.

"She may need help," he teased.

I could only shake my head; those two were always kissing or hugging if not arguing which as I have learned as a married woman lead to making up.

**What I learned:** Love is not a color and be grateful if you parents are still hot for one another after many years of marriage.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Remembrance

Chapter Eight

Being two weeks from my supposed due date has become annoying and not because I am not ready to deliver this bundle of joy, but the relatives are restless. Mom finally convinced Dad to stop calling me ever few hours to check on me now James is hovering. I know I should be happy that he is concerned but frankly I just want to be able to write in peace. Though it is kind of cute.

The night of my first prom which was in my junior year James picked me up wearing a double breasted black suit that fit him perfectly. He may have been only eighteen but he was model gorgeous. My thoughts were not exactly of dancing when I saw him that night, of course being a proper young lady I only smiled at him as he checked out my royal blue silk dress. Mom had adjusted it so it fit nicely on my tall and slim frame. I still don't know what she did to make the top fit snugly enough that I almost looked like I filled out, I thanked her profusely later.

Once we were outside we saw Dad and his brothers talking on the side walk; I think he wanted to see me leave without it being obvious. Unlike Mom who had taken about ten pictures of us in the house with tears running down her face while Mags had sulked in the chair because it was Friday night but she was grounded and not able to attend her friends slumber party. I know it was childish but I had stuck my tongue out at her on our way out, just because.

"You look very nice," Uncle Joshua said as Uncle Sam nodded.

Dad just smiled at me but we were almost to the car when I turned around to go take my father's hand to drag him down the walk a ways.

"Daddy, do you think I look nice?" I asked really interested in his opinion since he was being so quiet.

"Especially nice, Sweet Cakes," he said with a smile before he kissed my cheek.

"Thanks Daddy," I said as I went to get in the car with James.

I was just in time since Uncle Joshua and Uncle Sam had decided to talk to him. James' normally tan knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel when I got in.

"What did they say?" I asked curious to know what they were up to this time.

James looked at me a bit hesitantly.

"Just to take care of you," he said but I knew he was lying.

"What else?"

"That I better not be planning to take you to a hotel afterward."

"Uh, the prom is at a hotel; they know that. James you have to learn some comebacks that are respectful but effective. We will work on that okay."

He nodded as he smiled at me. My things to do list just had two additions; kill Joshua and Sam Winchester. But I could only laugh to myself.

**What I learned:** Leaving James alone with my relatives is a bad idea at any time.

Now Uncle Sam has always been like a second father to me; not that I needed one but when my Dad indulged me and Mom couldn't get through to him about it Uncle Sam stepped in as the voice of reason, sometimes.

For example: when I was eight and wanted to get a pony after seeing the classic **_Black Beauty_**, Dad thought it was a good idea. I happened to over hear Dad discussing it with Uncle Sam.

"Dean, she already has a kitten and a rabbit that you constantly complain about taking care of, because she doesn't but you do."

"I know but having a horse would be a learning experience," Dad insisted.

Uncle Sam was silent or at least I couldn't hear his response, so I am not sure how the conversation ended, however, I did get a pony. We kept him at the stables a few miles from our house and Dad was right it was a learning experience. Of course I experienced a lot of pain learning to ride it; to the point that I wanted to give up after the first week. The thing that made me keep at the training was having heard Uncle Sam say that I wasn't taking care of my pets. I didn't want to let Dad down so I began to take care of my rabbit plus my kitten and my horse too. Dad was so proud of me and Uncle Sam even apologized for insinuating that I was a brat.

"Jessica, I am proud of you and the way you are growing up," he said as we watched the fire works from our back yard.

Sarah came over to join us as well as Aunt Missy.

"What are you two talking about?" Sarah asked.

"Just how things are changing so fast," Uncle Sam said as a way of keeping our conversation to ourselves. I appreciated that about my family there wasn't a lot of "ragging" on one another and very little gossip. I knew he was proud of my efforts and that was important to me almost as much as when my Dad had told me the same thing earlier in the day.

**What I learned**: Doing what is expected of you doesn't have to be hard.

James finally left to go to the store for me; I sent him for ice cream and pickles because I seriously needed some time alone. I know he will read this but I hope he understands it isn't personal it is just pressure that I do not need though I have explained how I am feeling. _Okay deep breath. _ We decided to have our natural delivery at the hospital so Mom and I both get our way, it's always good when that can be accomplished especially with the Winchester women. Okay more from the past.

My cousin, Sarah, is a sweetheart but because she is four years younger than me we rarely interact. The one thing we have in common besides being blood and all is our gifts. Her healing gift is very strong as is my sixth sense and there was a point when we had a chance to use them both.

All of us were at the community pool which was unusual since Uncle Sam had a pool at his home, but it was being re-tiled so we ended up at the pool downtown. We had been swimming a while when I had a feeling something wasn't right. I looked around for all the kids, I know it isn't accurate but that is how I always refer to my siblings and my cousins, to see if everyone was accounted for. They were all okay but I still felt something was off; then I saw him a little guy in the pool he was sinking fast so I dove in and grabbed him before he hit bottom. By the time I had him out of the water and on a towel everyone was gathered around. I was seventeen and having swam for years I knew CPR, so after administering that I looked up to see Sarah standing in front of me. I don't know how she knew I needed her but she did. The baby wasn't breathing and the mother was hysterical. He couldn't have been more than a toddler and I still wonder why he was alone so close to the water.

Sarah knelt down and put her hands on his little chest as she looked at me; I think she wanted to know if this was a good idea. I nodded hoping anyone watching would assume it was my CPR that helped the child. We lucked out because the ambulance show up just as the child started spitting out the water. Sarah wondered into the crowd and I told what happened to the EMT guys. It was an incident that will always stick in my mind how she and I worked together reminded me of how Dad and Uncle Sam who seem so different could have been a team all those years ago.

**What I learned:** Gifts are meant to be appreciated and shared in times of need.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Remembrance

Chapter Nine

James caught up on reading my notes then let me know I was missing the story I told him about a time that my father spanked me and I thought my heart would break. Okay maybe I have avoided it for more than one reason since I always felt better when Dad and I agreed on things, of course I was only five.

I was standing at the back door on a Friday evening waiting for the rest of our clan to arrive for the Friday fish fry. That was when I noticed that the triplets were out back running around the perimeter of our fence; every few minutes they would drop their shorts and show their behinds. Now the triplets were our neighbors on the south side of our house; three wild boys that we didn't get along with often times but what they were doing seemed like fun. So I checked around behind me and a few feet into the laundry room and didn't see a parent so I strutted outside to show my stuff. As soon as they saw me I pulled down the back of my shorts and panties to reveal my tan behind. They all laughed as I stuck my tongue out at them before I headed back to the house with a smile that soon turned to a frown. My Dad was striding toward me with an angry look on his handsome features.

"Dad, I…."

"Jessica Marie Winchester, what do you think you are doing? Little girls don't pull their shorts down for boys to see them," he insisted as he grabbed my arm.

"Dad, I…"

"You know better," he said as he half dragged me inside.

"Cassandra," he bellowed. He never called my mom by her name.

We met Mom as she headed toward us carrying Mags who had peas on her face since Mom was feeding her so she could be put to bed before everyone arrived.

"Yes, Dean," she said with a question in her voice.

"Your daughter was outside mooning the neighbors."

Okay Mom tried not to smile.

"Jessica, why would you do that?" she managed to ask with a straight face.

"I don't know they did it first," was my weak defense since I still wasn't sure how serious my crime was.

"A very bad excuse young lady," Dad said and Mom agreed with a totally serious face now.

The only sound that could be heard was Mags as she chewed on her spoon and reached for Dad who was looking at her with a smile.

"Dada da badada."

Even Gabe was quiet as he hung on Mom's leg looking up at Dad. None of this was a good sign for me.

Dad was quiet as he took me to the spanking room officially called the Discipline Place, I guess giving it a politically correct name was suppose to make me feel better but at five the room may as well have been a torture chamber because either way the result was pain for the accused. He chose a medium sized switch ( a tree branch) from the stack in the corner, all neatly arranged of course.

"Do you understand why you are receiving a spanking?"

I shook my head so he put down the switch, sat down in the chair, then pulled me into his lap. That was when the tears came; I didn't want a spanking but Dad shook his head to show me that the tears weren't going to help me this time. Well I may have had a habit of crying to get away with things at some point.

"Sweet Cakes, I hate to do this but you need a way to remember that little girls shouldn't do what you did."

"Why?"

"It is just not proper for a girl or even a guy to behave that way. I will call the neighbor's about the triplets when we are done here."

"No Daddy no, they will be angry and think I told on them," I said with a pout as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Well I will tell them the part where you got in trouble too, so don't worry."

Dad raised an eyebrow at me when I pulled my stubborn look on him and I lost points for it. He had me lean over so he could give me two good swats, that stung like crazy. I didn't cry but I hated the feeling and I wasn't really happy with Dad either. He hugged me when he was done then picked me up to put me in his lap as he sat down again.

"I love you Sweet Cakes and I always well," he said as I snuggled close to his chest.

"I'm sorry Daddy, I do want to be a sweet little girl……but…it is hard to be good sometimes," I said as he looked down at me and kissed my nose.

**What I learned:** Being a girl involves special responsibilities.

Our house has always been a virtual anti-supernatural fortress. There were talismans, amulets, salt rings and every kind of incantation and prayer spoken over our house constantly to keep the Demon away from the Winchester family. This incident happened because my Mom wanted us to have a more normal life for a day in our lives but it didn't turn out to be such a great plan.

Dad came home from a hunt with bruises on his arms and scratches on his face as well as a limp which meant he had hurt his leg again. When I saw him walk in the door and go straight into Mom's arms I was relieved that he made it home but concerned over his injuries. I was hidden behind the door but when I peeked out he looked right at me with a grin.

"Dean you should soak in the tub I will get it ready for you," Mom said as she went to do just that.

I headed to my room not wanting to see my Dad in that shape. When he came to look for me a few minutes later there was a dark figure in front of me as I was sliding up the wall. I knew I was supposed to stare the thing down which was what I was doing when Dad came in the room.

"LEAVE HER ALONE," Dad yelled.

I just keep staring and I felt less terrified with Dad there, then the door slammed and we were both inside. I could hear Mom as she knocked for a moment then everything was silent as the Demon stared at Dad and I dropped to the floor landing on my bottom.

Then it was gone just before Mom knocked on the door again and we opened it to see her holding a salt gun.

That was when Dad noticed that the salt rings had been disturbed; also that I wasn't wearing my amulet.

"Jessica, what is wrong with this picture?" he asked pointing at the ring then my neck.

Mom bit her lip as she explained.

"It's kind of my fault Dean, I let them have a slumber party last night with the cousins plus neighbors. The kids that don't know any better may have disturbed some things," she said.

He walked out of the room.

"Will you get things back the way they should be in your room please," she said to me as she patted my shoulder.

I knew she wasn't in any hurry to face Dad and I felt sorry for her; she just wanted us to have some fun. I was twelve and I had been all for it.

The next morning my parents seemed to be as lovey dovey as ever which was good because that is the way I liked them. Mom told me later that day that Dad hadn't been angry but he just wanted us all to be safe.

**What I learned:** Our family is special so being normal isn't really an option we can choose.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Remembrance

Chapter Ten

A week before my due date we had our monthly dinner at our house. Generally, just my parents came but because of my condition, both sets of parental units decided to come together. I wish I could have been happy about that. The thing is my parents were so different from James' aunt and uncle who were his adopted parents. His aunt was extravagant and boisterous; his uncle is a miser ruled by his wife. Now they were good people and seemed to like me just fine despite my heritage, according to his aunt, Betty, who was James' mother's sister.

----

Well I thank God for my mother who can get along with anyone, she grinned and nodded for most of the meal while Betty went on and on about her recent spa weekend. I guess that James' uncle being a cheap sort had played in my favor because even though his uncle owns several hotels they chose to live in our modest neighborhood, though the reason most people lived in our area was the closeness to the smaller towns. We were situated on the edge of town and had to drive to do most things for at least five minutes when we were growing up.

----

I could tell Dad was bored when he began to tell stories about me when I was a baby. I really would have gone under the table except that well I was very pregnant.

I rolled my eyes in mom's direction but I think she thought even a tale about me in diapers was preferable to listening to Betty babbling. I tried to drown the sound of his voice out but it just did not happen.

----

Dad recalled how I used to sit in one spot and rock for what seemed like hours on my knees when I was trying to figure out how to crawl. James found that amusing though when he looked my way; I raised my eyebrow at him and indicated we needed to talk in the kitchen. I really must have frightened him with my look because he didn't move he just looked in the direction of Aunt Betty who was enjoying the story. I rolled my eyes as I got up with a bit of difficulty to go to the kitchen on my own only to find James at my side a second later.

----

"Are you okay?"

"Well if being bored to death isn't an illness, I'm fine," I said irritated.

"They will be gone soon," he said as he smiled at me as he rubbed my stomach, the kind of smile that is nicer when the house it empty.

"Thanks Sweetie, lets take in the cake maybe they will get the hint," I said after he kissed me.

A half hour later they were all gone and I was a bit sad that I didn't get to chat with my Mom but we could talk on the phone it was just a tradition with us to chit chat when they came for dinner, the next time they came the baby would be here needing my attention. **_A baby changes everything._**

----

My senior year in high school I began to have doubts about marrying at such a young age. When I mentioned it to James, he seemed upset with me, saying that we had known one another most of our lives and that we couldn't get any closer.

"Is it that you don't love me?" he asked looking so sad it broke my heart.

I went into his arms hoping to assure him.

"I do love you; very much. But, maybe we should see other people for a while to see if what we are doing isn't because we have grown so comfortable with one another."

He hated the idea but agreed that for two months, we had the option to see other people but of course, nothing physical could happen, plus we would still see each other.

----

My Dad liked the idea but Mom hated it.

"Jessica why are sabotaging your relationship?' she asked as I sat at the table peeling potatoes while she worked on the rest of our meal.

"I thought you would be the one to agree with the idea; not Dad."

"Well, your Dad is hoping you will change your mind because he doesn't want you to leave home yet."

I hadn't thought about that.

----

After dinner that night I spoke with Dad, before he went down to uncle Sam's to watch the ball game. We set on the front steps.

"So Mom says…."

"She told you didn't she?"

I smiled and nodded.

"Sometimes that woman has a big mouth," he teased with a smile.

"Dad you are never going to be ready for me to leave home or grow up, right?"

He looked in my eyes, "No, Sweet Cakes, you can stay here forever and I would be fine with it."

----

I hugged him.

"But I do love James and I want to marry him because he is like you," I said with my head down.

In my head, it sounded dirty. I couldn't look at him.

He raised my chin, " You mean he is handsome and adventurous?"

I laughed as he smiled at me, "Yes, he wants to go to Greece and maybe Italy sometime to see where his ancestors came from. I think it is cool that he has that desire."

Dad nodded.

"You know the way you feel about that young man seems to be pretty set in stone. Seeing other people won't change that; I say go ahead and try it."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," I grinned.

Dad smiled before he headed to Uncle Sam's.

----

I refused to date anyone who played sports so the first person I went out with other than James, who seemed determined to keep me dating only him, was Van the editor of the school paper. He was smart, brunette, and tall with nice green eyes similar to mine and he seemed to be infatuated with me. Somewhat creeped me out at first because at the pizza place he kept staring at me. Unfortunately, I found out after the movie that he had always wanted to date a black girl. I was the closest he had come to that goal. I was hurt by the incident because I had never been treated as a color before.

----

"Mom, I thought he was a nice guy."

Mom was sitting on my bed and I had my head in her lap as she played with my hair.

"Jessica him being curious doesn't make him bad but some people don't know how to respond to those that look different than them. I don't think he meant to hurt you."

"No?"

"No, he probably hasn't been taught about treating everyone the same. We are the minority here you know."

"Mom, I love you but sometimes I ….wish I looked like Mags, she looks almost white."

"She may look white but she is just like you, a beautiful multicultural young woman. Genetics is a funny thing; all three of you look different. I personally find it amazing. I'm sorry if you don't see that diversity is a good thing."

She started to move off the bed but I stopped her after I realized I had hurt her the way I had been hurt.

"Mom, you know I love you I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I have never felt comfortable in my skin its not just the color but just being tall and having wavy hair," I tried to laugh it off.

I raised up so she could hold me just as Dad came to the open door followed by Mags who's eyes matched Dad's exactly. I felt a bit jealous of her again.

----

"Is everything all right?" he asked as he walked in to sit on the end of the bed.

"Jessica had a bad date; we are just discussing the color issue," Mom said as she smiled at Dad.

"Really? What about it have we covered?"

"I think I hurt Mom's feelings," I said.

Mom explained that she thought all her kids were beautiful and that was why they had modeled for catalogs as children. I had no idea so she left the room to go get the copies she had saved. Dad hugged me while she was gone telling me that I should never feel anything but proud of my heritage but most the important thing about a person would always be their character.

Mags rolled her eyes behind Dad's back.

"James loves you as you are right? Then why make that young man suffer," Dad teased as Mom brought in the pictures.

There were several different catalogs for children; each one of us was in quite a few and they spanned several years. Dad smiled as he left the room while Mags sat down with us to look at the pictures.

**What I learned:** Beauty may be skin deep but love should go all the way through.

----

Mom told me that the midwife had let her know that Dad and I had some sort of connection. I didn't understand it but it was a positive energy that flowed between us. I asked Dad about it just before I turned eighteen because James still didn't get our closeness anymore than I did; but I enjoyed it.

"Sweet Cakes, I wish I could explain it but I am in your position because I have no idea what allows us to communicate so well most of the time."

I looked up at him as he stood by my chair as I sat on the patio.

"Do you think it is part of my gift?"

"That's what I always thought but this goes beyond that realm; I think I have just gotten used to you almost like you are another adult around here."

I giggled and he smiled at me.

"But no drinking and such, you hear," he teased then tickled me.

**_What I learned: _**My mysterious connection with my Dad is a blessing for us both.

----

TBC

The Wedding is coming Soon.


	11. Chapter 11

Remembrance

Chapter 11—The Wedding

When my wedding day finally arrived three months after graduation; I wasn't nervous I was happy to finally be a grown up. I guess what I mean is James and I had been together so long it was simply the next step in our development. On the other hand my parents were a bit jumpy especially Dad. Mom came in just after Bethany, who was my maid of honor completed arranging my hair in an elegant up do that I thought did wonders for my emerald colored eyes. Bethany put away her things as Mom came in wearing her lilac mother of the bride dress that looked amazing on her. Darn that woman still looked like a teen in the vee necked off the shoulder dress that just skimmed her tiny calves and fit closely to her slim waist. She smiled and her eyes lit up when she saw me.

"You look beautiful, Honey," she said as she kissed my cheek while she tried to avoid messing up my make up.

"Thanks Mom."

"Jessica, your Dad wants to talk to you before you go down stairs."

"Sure Mom, send him up Bethany is done and I'm ready," I said cheerily.

Mom smiled at me again then squeezed my shoulder before going to get Dad.

Bethany laughed, "I think your Dad is going to have a coronary."

I didn't laugh the thought of my Dad being upset wasn't something that made me happy though I know Bethany was joking. She hugged me so she could go take her place just as Dad tapped on the open door.

----

He looked handsome in his black tuxedo accented with the pale lavender shirt. His hair was cut short and his face clean-shaven for my special day, no biker boots or Metallica shirt today, I laughed to myself. My father was the perpetual casual man it was always fun to see him dressed up, though for the reception all bets were off. I shuddered to think what he and my uncles would show up in at our western themed dressed down reception. _He didn't look nervous or even upset maybe he just wanted to give me a pep talk or a hug._

"Hi Dad," I said as he shut the door as Bethany left.

"Hi Sweet Cakes," he replied with his trademark crooked grin as he kissed my cheek the same way Mom had.

"So what's up, Mom said you wanted to talk."

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you still wanted to go through with this."

"Dad, don't start I know you want me at home until I'm eighty but I will be five minutes away you can come by to bug me whenever you want," I teased.

----

He laughed, "Since when do I bug you?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's a figure of speech, Dad, I mean I know you will miss me just like I will miss you," I said as the tears threatened to come. _Darn him, I was doing so well._

"Jess I didn't come in here to make you cry; I just wanted a moment to talk to you before you become Mrs. James Cigliano. Is that so bad?"

I shook my head as I grabbed a tissue to dab at my eyes.

He hugged me then.

"I'm sorry Sweet Cakes I will send Bethany back so she can help you with that," he said sorrowfully.

I looked in his face.

"Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

His face turned serious.

"Sweet Cakes, I just want you to know if anything happens that makes you uncomfortable while you are married to James feel free to come to me or your Mom we won't judge you but I don't want anything to happen to you. Do you understand?"

"Yes Daddy," I said losing the battle to keep my face tear free.

"We love you and there is no shame in talking to us even as a married woman."

"Okay, I promise."

"That's it I just needed you to know that," he said with a smile as he prepared to leave.

"Thanks for coming by Dad; I will meet you at the end of the stairs shortly, okay."

He nodded as he went out.

Bethany came in the room shaking her head when she saw my face. I smiled at her weakly.  
"Father's do that to you," she said as she prepared the damage.

----

The wedding was held at a hotel that boasted of a beautiful spiral staircase, which sounded great, but walking down the stairs with a train proved to be tricky. I wore a strapless satin dress with a short sleeve lace over wrap, it was in pure white and my veil matched the lace. I had someone carry the train who was older because of the tricky stairs, it was my ten year old cousin Lauren, Joshua's daughter with Alicia and they were expecting a new baby very soon. I did well most of the way down but being tall proved detrimental, I tripped on the third to the last step but Dad caught me in his arms.

"You okay? Yeah just embarrassed," I said under my breath.

"Don't be that was a hazardous walk. You okay to go on?"

I nodded. Everyone sighed, and smiled as Dad lead me to the spot were we would say our vows. My ankle was killing me but I couldn't tell Dad, I walked slowly hoping he would think that it was the way it was done.

----

I made it through the ceremony with a smile plastered on my face but as soon as we had been pronounced husband and wife Dad meet me with an ice pack at the last row of chairs. He smiled as he handed the ice to James.

"What's this?"

I lifted my dress to reveal my swollen ankle, which was a mistake because everyone gathered around me. Uncle Joshua was the next person to join in the fray to help me.

"Attention everyone the reception is at Ben's Dude Ranch in two hours. The dress is casual the theme is Western, just like the invitation said so please if you can go home and change we will see you there, if you need to stay in the hotel please give my niece a chance to relax from her injury, thanks."

Most of the people began to shuffle out which was good since I thought I might hyperventilate with them around me. In about five minutes there was only Me, Dad, James, Uncle Sam and Sarah sitting and chatting as we iced my ankle.

----

"You did good Sweet Cakes," Uncle Sam said just before Aunt Missy came to sit beside him.

"How is new bride doing?" she asked as she squeezed Uncle Sam's hand and he looked in her eyes. Those two were as bad as my parents.

"Mom was next to come by to check on me followed by Mags who looked sensational in her lilac off the shoulder bridesmaid dress.

She wasn't happy that she wasn't maid of honor but I chose Bethany because she was older. Okay I confess Mags and I had endured a falling out about the time I was choosing wedding attendants. It was stupid stuff I don't remember all the details but she learned to flirt before she understood that sister's don't mess with one another's boyfriends, enough said. True be told; I love my sister and we have had many good

times together I look forward to her baby-sitting my little Cassandra and she does too.

----

No disrespect is meant but the three stooges, my Dad and my uncles where the last ones to show up at the reception which could only mean one thing. Lord help us all.

_Darn it, that hurt_

I will have to write the rest later, my water just broke.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Remembrance

Chapter Twelve

Mom and Dad beat James to the hospital because he was stuck in a performance review at work. Mom smiled at me as I did my breathing while I waited to go to the birthing room. Everything was on my timetable now; no rushing, no doctors telling me when to push it was all up to Mother Nature and God. I was fighting depression though because I wanted my husband present. Mom reminded me that relaxing was the main thing I should be doing.

"James will be here if he can you know that."

"I know," I conceded," but it was you know one of those moments where you always hope things will go perfectly. Yeah right.

"Just relax and don't worry okay?" Dad said as he disappeared out of my room to call James, he didn't tell me I just know my father. He was worried for me. I also knew once I paged James he would be anxious trying to get out of that place to come to the hospital. My mind drifted back to my wedding as I closed my eyes to keep breathing with my body instead of against it. I could hear mom and dad when they left but I kept my eyes closed, she shushed him as he suggested they should stay. Poor Dad all this was hard on him but he would never admit it.

----

Flashback-Wedding

Though at the wedding I could have strangled him with my bare hands when he and my uncles pretended to be the band by standing on the stage with the instruments just as if they would burst out in song at any minute. Mom's face showed he was in for a good tongue thrashing. Once the real band took the stage and we all breathed a sigh of relief. I couldn't help but follow them to see Mom rack him over the coals. They stood outside the window in the back of the building where no one was supposed to be.

"What were you thinking?"

"Cas, it was a joke."

"Really? You want to embarrass your daughter at her wedding? Some joke," Mom said as she looked in my Dad's eyes.

I almost fell over trying to see them.

"No Mam," he teased.

"I'm serious this is something Jessica will remember the rest of her life."

Dad pulled her into his arms. He was good at changing her train of thought, I give that to him. I was shaking my head trying not to laugh when James grabbed me around the waist.

"Who are you watching?" he asked then kissed me before I could answer.

He went to push me against the wall but it didn't look safe for my lavender traveling dress.

"We should go back," I said as he looked around me to see my parents kissing outside.

"Oh taking notes, huh?" he laughed.

End Flashback

----

I could hear James talking in my ear a few minutes later.

"Jess, I'm here."

I opened my eyes to see my handsome sweetheart smiling down at me with his deep brown eyes and dark hair that curled when he least wanted it too and my heart melted.

"Hi, Baby."

He kissed my forehead.

"Sorry it took so long."

I had a contraction right then as I went back to breathing.

"How far apart?"

"Last count I was at five minutes. I started thinking of our wedding and I lost count."

He kissed my lips before he took his jacket and tie off to put in the chair across the room.

Mom and Dad came back in as James sat in the chair by the bed kissing me senseless.

Dad cleared his throat while Mom laughed.

"Who does she remind you of Dean?"

Dad looked at Mom as though he had no clue; she rolled her eyes at him.

"Never mind," she said before asking about the contractions same as James had.

"I think I need to walk," I suggested.

They all took chairs and watched; now I felt like a caged animal though I knew they meant well and at least they talked among themselves.

----

After a few minutes I headed to the hallway with James close behind me, parents stayed in the room probably sensing we needed to be alone either that or they wanted some time alone, I just hoped Mom was okay. The walking helped me to relax though I still needed to get my mind off the process and on to something else.

"So did you think my father was mad when you saw him with the tattoo gun?"

James looked at me curiously with one eyebrow arched before a grin crept across his face.

"You mean at the wedding?"

I nodded.

"Mad no, but crazy, a bit yes," he said with a smile.

Flashback-Wedding Day

Uncle Joshua and Sam met James when we arrived back at the door to where the dancing was being held, to escort him away with a wink at me; well this part of the fun I knew about and was actually in on. All I had to do now was go inside and meet and greet for about ten minutes before excusing myself for a ladies room break.

----

Mean while upstairs, Sam and Uncle Joshua had James sat in the owner's office, with his permission of course, while they asked him all kinds of questions. They never told me exactly what was said but since they were stalling for Dad and me for a few minutes, I supposed it wasn't relevant. When my turn came to knock on the door and enter, I had to pretend to be upset with them for detaining my husband.

"What is going on here?"

"Uh," Uncle Joshua said with a wink a me.

"We just needed to initiate James, no need for concern," Dad said trying to be serious.

James looked nervous at each one of us but he had no idea what was going to happen; I could see beads of sweat form on his brows. I begin to have second thoughts because I love my husband. Maybe we were over doing the drama a bit. That is when Dad pulled out the tattoo gun that was hidden on the shelf behind the desk.

"Now James you are a Winchester now…

"Uh, actually," James began

"We know technically Jessica is a Cigliano, but once a Winchester always a Winchester. It's our motto."

----

"You have a motto?" James asked as he looked at me and I shrugged as though I was quite sure what my relatives meant. I couldn't look him in the face I was to afraid I would burst out into laughter.

"That's the first I heard of it," I lied as I bit my lip.

James glared at me.

"Any way, it won't hurt too much," Joshua, said as he started to roll up James' sleeves while Sam held his other hand still.

Dad winked at me as I watched knowing the gun was fake.

"Wait," James said.

"What?" Uncle Sam replied.

"Who else has a tattoo and what does it say? I mean maybe I want it somewhere else?"

I smiled maybe he was getting the idea.

"Honey I have one, I said as I began to unbutton my top before Dad stopped me.

"Uh Jess just come over her and bend over."

I knelt in front of James so he could see the fake tattooed W that was on my shoulder at the top it was about two inches in diameter."

He looked stunned, I thought he might faint.

"I've never seen that."

Dad raised an eyebrow, "I hope not considering the location."

"Daddy please," I said as I rolled my eyes.

James looked from me to my Dad then shook his head; Joshua and Sam began to laugh as it hit him that we were pulling his leg. He stood up to grab me into his arms as everyone else cleared the room.

"Oh look forward to being torture tickled tonight," he said in my ear.

End Flashback

----

"Your family is very interesting I don't think I will ever get used to the way they are together, not that its wrong its just different. Our family is so sedate almost dead at times, very boring."

I was on the verge of making a statement when I grabbed my abdomen then looked up at James.

"We need to get to the birthing room before I have this baby here in the hallway," I said as I began to focus my breathing as I grabbed his hand.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

A/N Well I hope the conclusion is all you hoped for, since both of the babies are here I figured it was time to bid farewell to Jessica and the rest of her clan. Thanks for all the kind reviews and especially to my beta, Jacks.

Remembrance

Conclusion

I brought my little bundle of joy home yesterday; Cassandra Marie Cigliano was seven pounds and seven ounces with dark hair and eyes. She is twenty-one inches long with pouty lips and chubby cheeks. She is beautiful though I know they say all babies are ugly my baby is gorgeous. Once she is able to sit up we are hitting the pageant circuit okay not really but she would win though James insisted that its vanity. Yes, he knows that I modeled as a child but he says my mother kept me grounded, but I digress. Last night James watched her sleep all night because he was afraid she would stop breathing I know he did this because well, I watched him watch her.

----

Mom called to warn me that Dad just left the house to go to the store and she thinks that he is heading my way to come look at his granddaughter. I laughed, Dad is as bad as James; poor Sandra will not get any rest until the novelty of having a baby in the family has worn off. I hear him now I will write more later.

----

Three hours later,

My Dad was hilarious as he cooed and played blow on the tummy with Sandra while she grinned, its gas I know, at him. I cannot say I remember ever seeing my father so emotional. Maybe its because he is overwhelmed at being a grandfather though he insisted that Sandra will call him Papa. I laughed at him because more than likely my child will have her own name for him.

"So what do you have to say for yourself; making me a grandfather at such a young age?"

I just smiled.

"Oh Dad you knew we wanted kids right away we didn't try to hide it."

"Oh all the sex books you borrowed from us?"

"No comment."

Dad laughed, "Don't be embarrassed your mother told me; I will leave that subject alone."

He grinned as he picked up my sleepy child for a hug before he left.

----

The comment about the sex books reminded me of the wedding.

Wedding Reception

Dad pulled James aside before we were about to leave the reception. I just saw them out of the corner of my eye. Dad pulled out his wallet then handed James a foil wrapped item. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to kill him," I said aloud causing my mother to look at me before she walked over to see what the problem was.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing,"

"Jessica look at me; is there something you want to tell me?"

I bit my lip as I pointed to Dad talking to James a little ways away.

"I think he just gave James a uh 'rubber'."

"Why? You two are already prepared right? "

"It's just a bit embarrassing if I saw him do that then someone else might have."

Mom grinned at me as I blushed.

"You know its okay your Dad just wants you to be safe, you know how much he loves you.

I knew and I was going to kill him.

Just before I went to strangle my father Uncle Sam grabbed my hand.  
"Hey Sweet Cakes you ready for the honeymoon?"

"Sure, I don't think I want to discuss that with you though," I teased him.

Uncle Sam blushed in his flannel shirt.

"Touché, I just wanted to wish you Godspeed," he said as he hugged me close.

"Thanks."

Uncle Joshua was next in a line that went about twenty deep. James was missing all the well wishers and Dad was making me nervous as I watched my new husband shift uncomfortably. I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what Dad had to say that would take so long. I even noticed my mother looked their way a few times. Dad's dialogue seemed to be none stop. I couldn't take any more as I headed over to them but on the way over I decided tact was needed.

"Hey Dad you almost done with my hubby?"

"I'm sorry of course, you two have a safe trip," Dad said before he hugged me then walked away.

"What was that all about?"

"Oh we were talking about football," James grinned.

"Yea right, I saw what he gave you."

"But after that we talked football, really," he said as he kissed me soundly.

End Flashback

Okay maybe my mind was in the gutter but I imagined my Dad giving James sex pointers then again it could have been a Freudian thing you know where you fear something because in reality you really want it, not that he needed pointers.

**What I learned**: Leave mind reading up to the professionals.

----

Six weeks after Sandra was born mom went into labor early while they ate dinner at our house. We got her to the hospital but once they examined her they determined it was false labor. Mom couldn't believe it she had delivered three children over her lifetime and never gone in ahead of time. Well she had never gone in since she had us all at home. She ranted about how she wished she could have the new baby at home.

----

Mom got her wish a week later and Dad was an unhappy man to come home to find that I had helped Mom deliver my little brother who was born a couple of weeks early but seemed perfectly healthy. He had reddish brown hair, dark eyes and weighed close to eight pounds. Mom was fine though Dad calmly phoned the doctor once he came in the house.

"Cassandra?"

"I know Dean, it just happened. Jess was visiting and the baby came; there were no problems all our worrying was for nothing," she insisted.

I nodded in agreement hesitant to get in the middle of this argument especially when it was in opposition to Dad. This was the first time Mom had called me Jess, I felt that somehow that meant she and I were close after my helping her. It turned out to be true though I had never felt distant from Mom I just always felt closer to Dad.

"Are you so upset that you don't want to see your son?" Mom asked sadly.

Dad put a finger up to indicated he needed to complete the call.

Once he was done he pulled a chair over to sit beside the bed while I continued to clean up the room. As I was on the way out with the garbage I could hear them.

"I am not upset just concerned for you; he is beautiful."

"Meet your daddy, Caleb Dean," Mom said.

I did not have to see Dad to know he was grinning at his infant son.

**What I learned**: Believe in the unexpected.

----

When we had a barbeque at our house a couple of months later, the entire clan was present. Uncle Sam and Aunt Missy brought all their children including Sarah who is now a sixteen-year-old volleyball star, Jack who played on the football team as well as Michael who just got out of rehab for alcohol abuse but seemed to be doing fine. Uncle Joshua and Aunt Alicia came by for a while with two-year-old Ariane as well as twelve year old, Lauren. I was surprised when Bethany drove up in her new SUV with a gentleman friend, but I was shocked to see Jon Jon drive in behind her with his wife and two daughters in tow. I hadn't seen him in years. Mom and Dad had dragged Mags along despite her ranting about not wanting to come to a family function as well as Gabe who was in town visiting. The entire reunion barbeque thing was my idea because I felt we didn't' get together much any more. That does not mean the local Winchester's were amiss at get togethers but the cousin's I grew up with were just busy with life and lived out of town like my own brother. Maybe I just craved that family dynamic that I was so fond of as a child but it turned out that everyone else enjoyed getting caught up on one another's lives.

----

Dad thanked me near the end of the evening for having a family reunion he thought it was something we should do more often at least every couple of years. James came over with our little Sandra to put his arm around me. He seemed to be finally learning to get into the spirit of life with the Winchesters. Lately he spent time with my Dad and uncles hanging out watching football as well as going to games.

"I agree Dad we should all get together like this more often."

He nodded and kissed my cheek as he went to find Mom.

**What I learned:** Life doesn't have to be dramatic it just needs to be savored.

The End

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